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| Friday, February 29th, 2008 | | 5:54 pm |
We can be heroes
Just for one Dave! We can beat eggs Just for one Dave! I-I can remember Starving by the stove And the eggs cooked within the pan And we ate as though gas couldn't pass And the shame-was now in the bathroom Oh we can eat eggs-forever and ever Then we could eat heroes-just for one Dave. Current Mood:  hungry | | Monday, December 31st, 2007 | | 2:15 pm |
And another entry by Our Father in Christ(y Kane)
Good morrow kind friends, I thought it best to greet the day with a sonnet and a song, winter's frigid breast waxing full with seasonal chill and bereft of sunny hope for awhile longer. Tis a nobler thing than not to honor thy parents Partners in Kryme a young emerging bouyon group taking the Caribbean by storm. Think of those fine 10 weeks atop the charts, with catchy hit and solemn chanting of T U R T L E Power. A fine toast to the green machine, tribute to the new swing sound, or so it seemed. I think fondly on those days of yesteryear, collapsed in footies in front of the television's shiny gaping cyclopic eye, to gaze upon visions of an alternate present the desired future and crumbled pasts that never were. No, never were. But should have were, should have whirrrrrrrrrr I AM THE WALRUS Coo coo. Ka-choo. I yearn for the summer days or anything springly and spritely to transport me to my beloved subterranean stomping grounds. To bask in the glow of golden pizzas, wizened rats, and green things oozing, and not oozing. And all sorts of sport. May those comely virgins return to me, dancing about the maypole. For I am alive. LET IT BE KNOWN. Or. At least. I will be in good time. When the sun restores in me, vitality to endure another blistery season of frozen calm and tundra-like conditions Ad infinitum lest I escape this chilly fortress of wintertude for vistas of gold. And much diabetes. | | 12:55 pm |
An entry by Dave
It is always so great when I, Dave, get up in the morning and crave a freshly throttled turkey. I then put that whole turkey in the oven (with my Dave hands) feathers and all and then throw the half cooked turkey into the fires of Hades, so that Cerberus stops barking and keeping me up at all hours. Yes, this is the davely life of Darkly Dreaming Dave, poultry and hellhounds, life and death, redemption and damnation. For I am Dave, and I rose from the dead after three days to be seated at the right hand of my father, who passes me turkey cutlets that I cooked, because Cerberus didn't want them. Current Mood:  daveCurrent Music: dave's music that dave does like | | Friday, December 21st, 2007 | | 8:34 pm |
Cuttin' and Struttin': Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul and Tom Tancredo in the Land of the Tic-Toc Men
Mike Huckabee, who prefers to be a Christian, was sitting at home one night when there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" said Huckabee. Realizing no one else was home, his cheeks filled with a prickly, hot shame. Huckabee opened the door to find Ron Paul and Tom Tancredo standing on his front step. "What are you doing here?" Asked Huckabee. "I don't have a home" said Ron Paul. Huckabee turned to Tom Tancredo and asked "And you?" "I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air." Replied Tom Tancredo. "What?" | | Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 | | 9:09 pm |
My sister gave birth this afternoon to a beautiful, healthy baby boy (8 lbs., 15 oz). For anyone unaware, my sister informed us that she was pregnant two weeks after my mom passed away. She was already nearly seven months in, and apparently it was only us men who had not realized what was up. The father was an inconsequential one-night stand, and has not been contacted regarding his offspring. My sister decided she was not ready for motherhood and opted to go the adoption route. She decided on an open adoption, such that she will get periodical updates, along with the opportunity to see the child at an annual picnic the adoption agency sponsors. My dad and I were able to spend the whole day hanging out with the couple Alyssa picked, and I must say they are absolutely wonderful. We all got along very well and the situation was not in any way weird. I am not sure if it is legal to give details, but I will say that the new father looks like a hybrid between Jason Alexander and John Lithgow. The labor itself went very well. She was a week passed her due date, so they induced her with Pitocin early this morning. She had an epidural when the pain started up, so most of the time she was very relaxed. Her doctor was awesome, a middle-aged man with a 19th century mutton-chop mustache (picture President Chester A. Arthur). She only wanted the couple in there for the actual birth, so my dad and I sat in the waiting room, when suddenly I saw what appeared to be a treasure map sticking out of a tattered seat cushion... but I digress, that is a story for another day. We were called back in after an hour and boom, there was a baby. The couple named him Justin Francis, Francis after the wife's mom who had just passed away, and Justin because, well the husband likes the name Justin. Everyone said that Alyssa was amazing. She was smiles and laughs the whole way through, and she didn't cry out in pain once. When asked how she was doing, she would respond, "fine, how are you doing?" Alyssa will be in the hospital until Thursday morning. She was doing well when we left her this evening, and I'll be hanging out with her for most of tomorrow. | | Friday, May 18th, 2007 | | 3:39 pm |
Much like birth, there's something beautiful about a death done right.
My mom passed away yesterday, a little before noon, after a long battle with brain cancer. She had spent the last two months confined to her bed, mostly unable to move or speak. It was heartbreaking to watch her go this way, and her inability to communicate made it very difficult for my dad and I to care for her. We owe a big debt of gratitude to Hospice for all their guidance in helping us to make her more comfortable. She went very peacefully. It was a bright, sunny day. When we saw that she was slipping away, my dad, Alyssa, Eric and I gathered around the bed and told her that we loved her, and that we would see her again someday. We turned on her favorite worship music and I said the Lord's Prayer over her. A few minutes later her breathing tapered off, and she was gone. I feel a lot of different things. Relief that she's no longer suffering, joy that she's with God and her favorite sister, sadness that she had to go at all, and an emptiness knowing that a person so core to my being is no longer in my life. Still, there is so much that I am thankful for. She got five years instead of the eight months her doctors predicted. She spent most of these years very healthy and happy. And as painful and frustrating as these last few months have been, I am grateful that I had the opportunity to return some of the love she gave to me while growing up. In the process I've grown even closer to my dad and sibs, something I know my mom would be happy about. While we were all teary-eyed, we shared a sense of satisfaction for making her transition from this life to the next as peaceful as possible. Later on, our Hospice nurse, Terry, told us that one thing birth and death have in common is that there is something beautiful about the process when everything is done right. I couldn't agree more. I owe many thanks to my best friends and roomies, Ms. McConvery, the Colleen, J$P and pretty pony Shannen for being there for me. You guys brought me much needed joy in what has been the most difficult point of my life. I've missed you guys and can't wait to see you all next week. MWAH! | | Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 | | 11:10 am |
| | Sunday, April 23rd, 2006 | | 2:16 pm |
Well hello there livejournal, I heard you could help me build a 'virtually' permanent monument to a present thought cluster. Let's see, the band I'm listening to is Freezepop (I guess that's something a human might say). It's very nice (said in Borat voice), kinda like getting a head massage from tiny spiders... that's actually too scary to think about so it's time to think about something else... hmmm.... what should I think about?... (each '.' = 20 seconds, not counting the one occuring after the closed parenthese, which is just a sentence ending period). <--- that one After reading what I just wrote, I realize what I just said may not have made a lot of sense, but if you just bear with me a moment, I'm sure I can communicate something which, if not profound, will be at least coherent. I promise. <--- 4 Dear occupant, if you have not seen the Space Ghost Coast to Coast episode "Jacksonville" you should do so at your earliest convenience. Dave: Colleen, would you be a dear and get me 100 cc's of bolgerdrine, stat! And now, a series I call ORIGINS: Jim Fortier/Conan: It's true. Everyone should know this. Space Ghost was a space man who had an embarrassing death. Dave Willis: Flashback. Space Ghost reaches into his aquarium with an electric shaver. George Lowe/Space Ghost: Dr. Fishopolis! You need a shave! Matt Maiellaro: (makes electric explosion noise.) George Lowe/Space Ghost: Agh! A shave! Matt Maiellaro: (makes electric explosion noise.) George Lowe/Space Ghost: Agh! A shave! Matt Maiellaro: (makes electric explosion noise.) George Lowe/Space Ghost: Agh! Dave Willis: Back to set. C. Martin Croker/Zorak: A shave! (laughs) A shave! (laughs) George Lowe/Space Ghost: Dr. Fishopolis!! Mike Lazzo: This Fishopolis thing bothers me back to back like that. Matt Maiellaro: What if he yelled "No" before it? You're remembering this thing that you made up how you died. Then you come out of this fantasy of how you died. George Lowe: You're adding "No" there? Matt Maiellaro: This fish that you've never even owned. Mike Lazzo: And you're shaving it. Dave Willis: No! Dr. Fishopolis! Matt Maiellaro: Yeah, try adding a "No" in front of that. George Lowe/Space Ghost: No! Dr. Fishopolis!! Jim Fortier/Conan: Face it, Space Ghost! You're a space man that choked on a muffin! George Lowe/Space Ghost: No, no. You're thinking of Space Cop. Jim Fortier/Conan: I saw that on the WB, actually. They'll carry anything. Ha ha ha ha ha! George Lowe/Space Ghost: Ha ha ha ha ha! Look at my hand, Conan. It's glistening with sweat. See! That was sorta profound. Except not really. At all. Well, it appears that I have reneged on the promise I had previously labeled 4. Should my Auto-Format HTML be set to 'Yes; links and line breaks'? That's what it's set at so I'm afraid to touch it. | | Friday, March 31st, 2006 | | 2:26 pm |
Football Grabber Octagon Lunch Pale
Dynamite motor core heavy cream. Jasmine french bread au bon platter. Cretacious porridge will fillibuster Matlock poorly. Time cop is to time bandit as mouthwash is to french fries. Wait, I think that last thing accidently made some sense. A man molests their seven year old neighborhood. Ah yes I read of this thing. And I must say. Grab. It was spring. My young loins at daybreak were bursting with the sort of energy only granted children with rare genetic disorders. | | Tuesday, February 14th, 2006 | | 10:52 am |
Well it's about damn time.
http://contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/batman%20to%20track%20down%20bin%20laden_14_02_2006Superhero BATMAN will turn his attention to real-life bad guy OSAMA BIN LADEN in an upcoming comic book. The Caped Crusader will take on the might of the al-Qaeda terrorist network in new graphic novel HOLY TERROR, BATMAN! Batman writer FRANK MILLER tells the New York Post, "It is, not to put too fine a point on it, a piece of propaganda. Batman kicks al-Qaeda's a**." Wait, no, this is a terrible idea... but it's Frank Miller... I'm slightly relieved that I can't find this anywhere else. HOLY TERROR BATMAN! ???? This can't be real, no way. | | Friday, February 3rd, 2006 | | 5:22 pm |
I read achewood today.
And decided that Ramses Luther _____ is a great name. It is a very impressive name that is both cool AND awesome. Herego, I suggest that everyone do this MEME I have created: Ramses Luther Rosen - 96% Simply replace your first and middle name with 'Ramses Luther' and put a percentage next to it, indicating how good of a ring your new name has. As you can see, I scored a 96% because Ramses Luther Rosen sounds pretty 80's-bad. Here is another few examples: Ramses Luther Rice - 69% - has an ok ring to it, but not nearly as much as Ramses Luther Rosen. Ramses Luther Power - 56% - Sounds QUITE good, but is practically redundant. Power Power Power. Like you're some kinda villager from Power Village. Ramses Luther Tomei - 34% - Sorry Marisa, but 'Ramses Luther' is a boy's name. Ok, so, have at it. Like, you definitely need to be spending more time on the internet than you currently do, so stay on the internet a little while longer and do this meme. | | Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 | | 7:21 am |
Executive Producer: Trousers
Dearest Colleen: On our next episode, we're... ummm, well I don't know what the next episode's about, but I did leave you a whole bowl of broccoli stalks. YUM! YUM! | | Monday, January 23rd, 2006 | | 10:47 am |
Discuss:
Is an NPR segment on a greek lit. book club in New Dheli any more edifying than Howard Stern yelling "cock" ? | | Thursday, December 15th, 2005 | | 4:12 pm |
Tookie decided to pass...
Final meals and last words of the condemned...My fav: DOUGLAS ROBERTS, 42 TEXAS, LETHAL INJECTION, APRIL 20, 2005 ROBERTS stabbed a man seven times in 1996 while stealing his car and wallet. LAST MEAL: Fried chicken, two BLT sandwiches, enchiladas, ground beef, pork chops, tortillas, eggs, green olives, butter beans and cabbage, broccoli with cheese sauce, fried onion rings, French fries, tomato, lettuce, cheese, picante sauce, onions and jalapenos. LAST WORDS: "Bury me, lay speakers at my feet, put on some headphones and rock 'n' roll me when I'm dead." I feel a meme comin' on! Just fill in the blanks: Name: State, type of execution and date: Crime you were convicted of: Last meal: Last Words: | | Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 | | 9:58 am |
| | Monday, August 22nd, 2005 | | 1:58 pm |
| | Saturday, June 25th, 2005 | | 9:37 am |
Last night I saw an advanced preview of War of the Worlds. Now, Jeff had been telling me that Spielberg wanted to take make sure that he did not just put together an Independence Day clone and I am happy to say he succeeded and then some. In fact, I've been wanting to write a movie review for a while, so, here we go: In War of the Worlds, an unlikely director takes on an even more unlikely lead actor and crafts a deeply felt coming-of-age tale that pulsates with the scalding beauty of tragedy. The director, Steven Spielberg, whose over-the-top melodramas have been criticized as largely empty provocations, proves himself here to have great sensitivity. Yet it is the lead actor, Tom Cruise, best known for his work on the Ralph Macchio vehicle "The Outsiders," whose unforgettable, nuanced performance makes the film. Based on the novel by H. G. Wells, the story follows two teenage boys living in small-town Kansas: Ray(Tom Cruise), a rebellious gay youth whose fragile beauty and cruel indifference make him a successful hustler to the area's older men; and Ogilvy (Tim Robbins), a clunky and awkward fellow with no discernable social life. Having suffered from blackouts as a child, Ray believes that these voids were actually alien abductions, and goes on a quest to confirm this. As his memories become increasingly vivid, Ray convinces himself that Ogilvy, the star player on his childhood Little League team and a regular presence in his dreams, knows the truth. Ogilvy does, in fact, know exactly what happened. The boys were sexually abused by their Little League coach. While Ray has suppressed the incident, Ogilvy has held it deep within him like a treasure, considering it to have been a loving relationship of respect and tenderness, the absence of which has left him emotionally empty. The two strands of narrative are braided together elegantly, slowly leading up to a devastating final scene. Spielberg unifies the stories through an elegiac, celestial tone that manages to avoid preachiness via doses of appropriate humor. War of the Worlds is so profoundly alive with sadness and beauty that it nearly burns. | | Thursday, June 23rd, 2005 | | 7:02 am |
Chicago PD posts pictures of Johns, prostitutes and pimps
I noticed y'all had a spirited debate on whether or not newspapers should publish photos of registered sex offenders. The Chicago Police Department website has posted pictures of people who were arrested (though not necessarily convicted) for engaging in prostitution on city streets. The article that linked to the site states that the CPD hope this will shame-away potential offenders and reduce dangerous street-level prostitution. Any thoughts? Personally I don't think it will be very effective. Men do some very stupid things when they want to get-off. Bill Clinton wasn't deterred by the risk of exposure and he had a LOT more on the line than the average Chicagoean (Chicagite? Chicagan?). I think the only effective way of dealing with the dangers faced by sex workers is to decriminalize prostitution so they can come off the streets and into government-regulated brothels. Furthermore, since they would be under the direct protection of the state, governors could therefore be considered "Super-Pimps," thus fueling national demand for tricked-out low riders and garish leisure suits. My only concern is that it might lead to an over-hunting of flamingos in order to obtain their resplendent plumage for use in hats and boas. | | Friday, June 3rd, 2005 | | 11:33 am |
| | Thursday, May 26th, 2005 | | 9:04 pm |
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